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ssebastianssmythe:

I wasn’t an idiot. I liked men and sex. 

You didn’t even know what you wanted.

ssebastianssmythe:

Oh well.

You are not. Maybe she won’t be an idiot like you were.

ssebastianssmythe:

She can’t leave her room.

She will hate you.

ssebastianssmythe:

Because Santa looks like a human being, not a gigantic creature with big ass teeth.

You’re a gigantic creature with huge ass teeth.

ssebastianssmythe:

I did not think he’d like that. Those costumes are creepy as fuck, and he’s one tenth the size of it. I think it’d freak any baby out.

That one didn’t look as bad… I guess we know not to get pictures with the Easter bunny. He loved Santa, though.

ssebastianssmythe:

I’ll scream, and put locks on the outside of her door.

What exactly would that solve?

ssebastianssmythe:

He won’t freak out, babe. He’ll love it.

Sometimes he cries about things I thought he’d like. He cried when he took his picture with the Easter bunny.

ssebastianssmythe:

Not if she’s like me. 

Let’s not being that up.